


Bittersweet profanity

by TheWild



Series: Gintama's Finest [2]
Category: Gintama
Genre: Bittersweet, Multi, No Smut, Spoilers, kind of sad, read at your own caution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 21:00:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14777159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWild/pseuds/TheWild
Summary: Hijikata visits one last time before the Shinsengumi leave, and finds a silver-haired samurai joining him for some bitter sweet reminiscence.One shot in “Profane” universe.There’s SPOILERS in this. Read with caution. I should catch up on Gintama for more up-to-date fanfics.





	Bittersweet profanity

Hijikata didn’t love a lot of people. Not in the romantic sense, anyway. There had been Mitsuba- sweet, generous, spice-loving Mitsuba- whom part of him still loved and would continue to love until he ultimately got stabbed or slashed to pieces. (Whether or not that was by her batshit crazy brother).

Then there’s you, the smart-mouthed, sassy flower shop owner that lacked most of the good qualities Mitsuba had- but you had both shared one trait: you liked him for who he was. Besides that you were pretty much completely different.

And then through you, he couldn’t help but begrudgingly appreciate Sakata Gintoki, the incarnation of sadism and stupid jokes with the brain of a 5 year old.

He didn’t really think about saying a proper goodbye because he first felt like just leaving might be better- both for your safety and for his sanity- until he realized he wanted to see your face one last time before leaving.

So he did the only logical thing he could think of: he dragged the silver haired samurai with him and trudged along the dirty Kabuki streets until the familiar view of your flower shop appeared. You weren’t working outside considering the significant downpour- but most of your bouquets seemed to have a sober atmosphere to them.

Perhaps you knew what had been going on, or you’d been getting a lot of calls for bouquets for the dead.

“You’re really going to do this?” Sakata asks, dead eyes staring ahead at where he can see you fix up some flowers at your desk.

“I owe her,” Hijikata just sighs, finally taking the step to open the door. It’s accompanied with the little bell ting-a-linging happily and you look up with a broad smile.

“If it isn’t my two favourite idiots,” you smile, but it slowly fades once you see the serious look and feel the atmosphere grasping you by the neck.

“Bad news?” you just ask, opening the door to your house- they both just step on through before Hijikata finally says something.

“The Shinsengumi’s disbanded.”

He’s glad you don’t show fake displays of pity, but instead raise an eyebrow.

“Why is that?”

You take the silence as a ‘this will take too long’, where you should take it as a ‘the less you know the better’.

“Let me get you some drinks.”

“She’ll figure it out eventually,” Gintoki mutters as he crosses his legs on the floor- leaning back against one of your cupboards with an uninterested air even though he clearly is interested in what’s going to happen next.

“I don’t want her sticking at my side because she doesn’t know the entire truth,” Hijikata simply responds, sitting down as well, knees on the ground and hands on his knees, as if he’s about to flee the conversation entirely and Gintoki can’t help but understand.

Mainly because Gintoki hadn’t told you anything about his past or his current endeavors, and didn’t plan on doing it either.

Ever.

You entered the room carrying a tray with strawberry milk, some glasses and some hot tea- as well as some snacks you probably just haphazardly gathered from around the kitchen. (Some of the wrappers were torn and you had tried to make it look like they hadn’t been opened.)

“I’m guessing-”

Hijikata stops you by simply raising a hand while you are setting everything down at the table.

“We might not come back in a long time.”

He hadn’t expected you to cry- he felt like, as adults, you were all silently resigning to keeping that for when you were alone- but he hadn’t expected the sad stare you were giving him.

“I, uh,” you start, “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Gintoki responds as he grabs the carton of milk- not looking at either of you.

The absent and distant behaviour leaves you feeling like this is not a goodbye, but a rejection- perhaps it had become too much to share a bed and their resentment for each other had reached a boiling point, or perhaps your continuously growing affections were becoming too tacky and clingy- whatever it was, you couldn’t help your nose clogging and eyes tearing up.

Instantly, both men panic- your sassy and distant attitude was pretty much the only thing they knew and this was far from either of those.

“It’s OK,” Gintoki says- robotic voice, patting your head as if you were a dejected dog- and you give him the angriest glare you can muster.

“I can’t believe you’re fucking telling me it’s OK while having a little break-up pow-wow at my house.”

At that, it’s their turn to look surprised- Gintoki’s hand hovering above your head in perpetual discomfort only inches above your head as Hijikata visibly drags his nails into his thighs at the sentence you just snarled.

“We’re not breaking up with you.”

“Yeah, yeah, we never had a relationship to begin with so you can’t  _ technically  _ break up with me, but it’s still a shitty move to make me bring out  _ my  _ Jacker Crackers when you don’t  _ appreciate  _ my-”

“Will you be quiet and let the man talk?” Gintoki snarls back, softly tapping the back of your head with the hoover-hand.

“It’s not that, I just have to leave Edo for a while. I wanted to-” Hijikata tenses up at the end, seemingly uncomfortable with what he’s about to say, “I wanted to see your stupid face before I leave.”

Still riled up from getting weird thoughts into your head, you childishly respond with a: “Your face is more stupid, stupid!”

But the room turns quiet while you all sip a drink or eat a cracker.

“So, you’ve seen each others face, can I go back home now?”

At that, Hijikata tenses up more before taking a deep, relaxing breath- shuffling over to where you are and looking deep into your eyes. As if on cue, his hands cup your cheeks- sweetly, as Hijikata mostly does- thumbs softly rubbing along your skin before he leans in and gives you the sweetest kiss. You’re hoping Gintoki is taking notes- because he hardly ever does anything sweetly, what with the whole sadism-schtick he pulled whenever he saw some skin.

You’re leaning into it and let him run his hands along your neck and arms, and then let another hand grab your ass while you lift yourself up slightly-

Wait.

You pull away to give Gintoki an angry look.

“You’re ruining a moment.”

“I’m sorry, I needed something to distract me from puking all over your nice wooden floor.”

You hear Hijikata’s teeth grind against each other but can’t help your smirk at Gintoki’s retort.

“That’s because you don’t know how to woo a lady,” the officer says with a hint of teasing.

“Maybe I don’t need silly things like ‘romance’ and ‘sweetness’ to get a lady in my bed,” Gintoki offers in return, effectively sitting closer so he is sandwiching you against the Vice Commander.

“Maybe you’re just an idiot who got helped by a woman who can’t help doing idiots.”

“Maybe that implies that you are an idiot as well!”

“Maybe that means that you are an idiot and I am helping her get over you!”

“Maybe you are just a stupid mayo-freak!”

“Maybe you’re just a stupid, jobless, leech!”

“ _ Maybe _ ,” you start, “you should both stop ruining this bittersweet moment with this dick-comparing contest. We all know who has the bigger one.”

Complete and utter silence at your insinuation that one of them had a bigger penis than the other. To be really fair, you didn’t know. You hadn’t looked. They both felt like good dicks, so you let that do the talking instead of pondering over meaningless inches.

Nonetheless, their reaction was priceless.

“Well, yes, we all know Gin-san has the most pleasing, biggest peni-”

“Don’t talk about yourself in the third person, you weirdo.”

You mainly said that because you’d noticed that Hijikata had once again gone quiet after the little spat- the distant, hazy look back in his eyes that had only disappeared for a few moments.

“Are you alright?” you ask the officer in question, now letting your hand cup his cheek as Gintoki is finally quiet, yet still leaning in- you glance at his face quickly to see him also staring at the Demon Commander.

“Yeah, did the final screw finally drop off and your brain fell down your throat?”

At that statement, you quickly retract your arm, smack your elbow into his chest and then get back to consoling Hijikata.

“Don’t mind him. He’s turning into a bitter old man very, very quickly.”

Hijikata looks over at Gin for a few moments before taking the time to study your face.

“I’ll miss this. Not him. But this. And you. But definitely not him.” 

It was endearing that they were both keeping up the ‘we hate each other’ act until the bitter end, but it was also getting kind of old.

“We’ll meet again. Our fates are intertwined, and we need you to bring the handcuffs. The good kind. Not those silly little things Gintoki brought in once,” you smile.

“Yeah, you broke those pretty quickly,” Hijikata isn’t quite smiling yet, but his eyes are lit up ever so slightly again. 

“I can’t help that she’s King Kong in disguise,” Gintoki joins the conversation again but his tone is more sincere- quiet and severe.

“Until we meet again, then,” Hijikata says, giving your forehead one last kiss before standing up. Gintoki remains seated, albeit that he moves a little away from you so you can both see Hijikata leave and close the door.

“Will you two ever tell me what the fuck is going on?” you solemnly state- looking at Gintoki expecting nothing but complete and utter, instant rejection.

“Maybe. Some day. You’re already dealing with a lot, the way we are. And the past is the past anyway. All we can do is look ahead,” he says with his dead fish eyes, ruffling your hair.


End file.
